SEXTALK / Cupid Takes it in the Ass
by Angelica Le Minh / illustration Delphine Ettinger pour NIGHTLIFE Magazine

] Anal sex: for some, the final frontier. For most, it’s a matter of power relations, more so than sex in general because there is still a stigma attached to participating in the ultimate submission. The core issues include trust, discomfort and the fact that, even with the utmost preparation, the unexpected could rear its turtlehead. More men are down (if only on the down-low) than society accepts, and more women are reclaiming the practice than ever before. Tristan Taormino, sex columnist for the Village Voice and
“self-proclaimed ass-muncher,” has been anointed “America’s anal sex guru” by Penthouse magazine. She has graciously provided me with some e-chats and a copy of her book, The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women.

ASS-FUCKING FOR VIRGINITY
This is like bombing for peace. Often for religious reasons, the logic of anal sex as a substitute for vaginal sex is that girls can remain virgins and prevent pregnancy. The silence around the practice, especially in the medical field - family doctors are usually not specific about anal as a sexual activity - contributes to the continual circulation of misinformation. This form of sex is often justified as one that doesn’t require condom use either and, due to the delicate nature of the orifice, this is obviously not a good idea. But it needs to be stated because from Bolivia to Iran, from Parc X to South Africa, asses everywhere are being plowed to prevent seeds from being sowed.

LAST TANGO IN PARIS
During my last visit to New York’s Museum of Sex,
I became privy to this urban-legendary cinematic moment of anal sex (borderline rape) where butter was used as lube. People! There are so many lube options out there! Familiarize yourselves! Water-based is best, though there is an ongoing debate and loyalty to Crisco (especially by fisting leather daddies), and it is crucial not to combine silicone-based lubes with silicone toys. Desensitizing lubes like Anal Ease are not good though, because all they do is numb the whole area, so one parallel thought to Novocaine should have you running to the preamble that you have to (and should want to) work for: consensus, rimming, giggling, fingering, yoga, whatever you need to do to relax.

HEALTH-FULL BOOTY
Enemas are recommended before doing the do(o). There are a dozen different varieties (which should be chosen with careful consultation) that range from herbal to alcoholic (though those are dangerous because your body absorbs the alcohol at a more concentrated rate than by ingestion), which brings a whole new meaning to bad hangovers. Similarly, coffee enemas also have a more profound effect for the same super-absorptive reasons, though they are used for both sexual and non-sexual purposes. It is only common courtesy to make sure that your anal hygiene is on-point (there is a serious science associated with this, from types of foods to timing meals before play) because bacterial risks can be higher due to the backdoor nature of the sandbox you’re dipping into. There is also the provocative BDSM (though not exclusive) practice of figging, which involves inserting a peeled piece of ginger into the anus for a tingling, burning sensation, which is said to precipitate great pleasure. Its origins trace back to kinky Victorian times, when it was used to ensure that the butt cheeks stayed unclenched for proper caning. The sphincter muscles, like any other, get stronger with regular use, so there may be a case to refute the popular belief that too much anal will lead to incontinence and adult diapers.

PUCKER UP
This Valentine’s Day, let’s remember that everything, even anal sex, is better when it’s feminist (feminism is about equality, after all). For the fellas whose rosebuds just shrunk, it makes more sense for you since your prostate could be a gateway to the sexual freedom you’ve never known (the gays haven’t been estupido all this time). So, as an alternative to flowers and chocolate this year, why not stir the pudding pot by suggesting a twist to the traditional rumpy pumpy, expanding your horizons with a starter plug, or slipping a post-it note into your partner’s briefcase asking if s/he prefers syrup or jelly? Anal is the new oral, and Rome wasn’t built in a day. If you wanna fuck someone’s ass, patience, not belligerence, is a virtue. [

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